On a day like this
When nothing goes wrong
Everything is calm
I decide to quit
And so the world goes quiet
I have to quit this life
I think
This kind of life
And then heal myself
From the wound I’ve created
And maybe travel for a bit
In search of a smile
My long lost smile
My real smile
A forgiving one which I used to have
Everyone would wonder why
You know?
They wouldn’t understand
As a matter of fact
I, too, wonder why
Why am I here?
Why did I choose to be here?
Where else can I go?
What else can I do?
Am I capable of change?
I’m going to miss this life
Somehow
It’s been my entire being for almost 2 years now
There may not be anyone missing me, though
I’m the one who chooses to go
The one who goes
The one who leaves
The one who doesn’t have courage
To stand and fight
She abandons the battle
And yes, she wonders
Will she ever be able to win the war?
Can she find her smiles?
Can she be whole again?
Or is there another battle waiting for her to abandon, again?
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